Trouble with Periods
by The Doom Knight
Summary: The time Luffy learned what a woman's 'Time of the Month' was, is something that the crew will remember clearly for a long time. LuNa, Post-Thriller Bark, Pre-Saobody Archipelago.


**A/N: **This came to me when I was reading an absolutely hillarious Fan-Fic with an Alternate Universe where everyone's gender is switched. It was a one-shot about how horrible it was for Marines to happen upon the Straw Hats when they were having their Periods. Nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard. (I'll try to find it again and let you know what it is.) I thought about it when I was bored in class and then thought this up!

So I guess this would be a minor AU too, because in this world Nami and Luffy are already together (something about the term 'being together' in a romantic sense is awkward to me ... hmm ...). Implied sexual situations (but not described here, thank you very much. I'm not _that_ twisted). Hmmm ... I guess it's after Thriller Bark and before Saobody, but Brook's name is only mentioned once so I guess it doesn't matter much if you've just finished Water 7/Enies Lobby. But if you haven't watched Water 7/Enies Lobby, then there's some minor spoilers ahead.

Enjoy!

* * *

_**Trouble with Periods  
**_

With two women on the boat, one of them with a short fuse and the other a former assassin, it was a wonder that the men of the ship survived each month. About half of the men on board actually noticed the symptoms (and Chopper, despite being a Reindeer, _was_ a doctor). They knew to steer clear of the two women during this time. That is, besides the more oblivious members and Sanji, who if anything smothered them even _more_ in his attempt to make them feel better.

Luffy, it seemed, was not of the more informed half of the crew.

So that morning when Nami groaned in frustration, the pain in her abdomen just making her want to go throw up, and Luffy _smiled_ at her from his spot next to her on the bed, she did what came natural to her.

She punched him.

Straw Hat was unceremoniously kicked out of his Navigator's room pretty early in the morning, earlier than he usually would have left to go bug Sanji for breakfast. And he had _no idea_ why. Thus, he took is personally and dragged himself towards the kitchen for an early breakfast, all the while sulking like a kicked puppy.

Both Sanji (naturally, because he had to beat Luffy to the kitchen) and Franky were up. When Luffy walked in, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast, the Shipwright and Cyborg looked over at his Captain with raised eyebrows. "Oi, Captain, you're not looking so _super_ today."

This caught Sanji's attention (and the fact that Luffy had snuck in so quietly) and he glanced over his shoulder with a rather smug expression on his face.

"Nami hit me, and I don't even know what I did," the black-haired pirate mumbled into the table.

Franky laughed at the younger man's troubles, "Gave you the cold shoulder?"

Luffy growled at him, before a sudden loud noise distracted the two of them. The Cook had deigned it necessary to put down whatever had been in his hands with more force than necessary, and scrambled over to the little calendar on the wall. With an over the top gasp of surprise, the Cook ran back into the kitchen and dived head-first into the fridge, obviously looking for something in the back, where it was less likely to be nabbed by hungry fingers.

Another laugh erupted from Franky's mouth, who had also seen the significance of that day.

"What's going on?" Luffy asked to both of them.

"Looks like it's Sis' _'Time of the Month'_."

"I don't get it," he said with genuine confusion.

"_What?!_" both men in the vicinity shouted at him, causing the Captain to clutch his ears from the vicious onslaught on his eardrums.

"I really don't understand, why is today so important?" As far as Straw Hat knew, today wasn't anyone's birthday and there were no holidays for a while. He was also confused as to what this had to do with Nami.

"Mugiwara, are you trying to say that you're the only one here currently getting any and you have no idea what a woman's 'Time' is?" Franky asked the Captain with an expression that spoke how-the-hell-did-_that_-happen.

"No idea," Luffy repeated. He was a little annoyed that they were still beating around the bush and not explaining to him what this 'Time' meant. From behind them, both could hear the now angry muttering of Sanji. Things like 'Shitty-Captain', 'Shitty-rubber-brat' and 'Why him?' drifted towards them.

Franky, still grinning, flipped his sunglasses up onto his forehead before leaning forward to stare right at Luffy. "You see, once a month, a woman had this special time. It's usually lasts around a week and is at different times for every woman. They become she-devils and will rip the heart out of anyone who pisses them off. They get angrier, grumpier and like to extract revenge on people they get annoyed at."

Luffy paled, eyes widening in horror, "And that's happening to Nami?"

"Yep! This'll probably go right over your head, and I'm no expert, so if you need details ask Chopper, but their hormones go outa wack because their cycle is just ending."

"So mystery feelings!"

"Pretty much." That was all their Captain _needed_ to know, anyway. Franky dreaded what Nami would do to him if he told Straw Hat that she was bleeding and in pain for that week. He probably would have gone ballistic and do something to completely embarrass them both and the rest of the crew (not to mention the wrath Nami would unleash upon them later).

"So you need to treat Nami-san extra nicely for the next week, or I'll use you as bait for our next meal," Sanji growled.

Having agreed to be careful, the morning proceeded mostly normal. Breakfast was an interesting affair, like always, but many of them noticed that Luffy seemed to be making an effort to stay out of Nami's way. Something they found odd.

And then, on their way out of the Kitchen, they all glanced one by one at the calendar, where, for the next week, every day was circled in red and a drawn in stick person with X's for eyes.

They all assumed that Luffy had finally learned what was going on.

Zoro thought it was hilarious, and watched the two of them that day.

Luffy avoided Nami like the plague, but when she talked to him he would try to not say something stupid. When he thought that he did say something to set her off, his sentence would end in something along the line of 'I mean – sorry!' And the strange looks that she was shooting him in return were one of the funniest things that he had ever seen.

But what really took the cake was when three days later, Nami got fed up with Luffy hiding from her and literally dragged him by the ankles into her quarters (Franky, to be prepared, had made more than one bedroom on the ship, and when Luffy and Nami had hooked up Robin had taken one of the others). The expression on Luffy's face was of a man about to be brutally murdered by their significant other, which Zoro thought pretty accurate. Luffy was a man who feared absolutely nothing (except losing his Nakama and his Grandfather), and yet he could still be frightened by the evoked wrath of their Navigator.

Sanji looked satisfied, Robin was amused, Usopp, Brook and Franky laughed while Chopper wondered why everyone was making such a big fuss over the reproductive cycle.

* * *

"Luffy! Why the hell are you avoiding me?" Nami snapped at the boy, who was currently across the room and cowering behind her laundry basket.

"Franky told me that you become a demon once a month!" he squeaked out.

"Oh, did he now?" Nami's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. She then sighed, knowing exactly how to reassure him that she _wasn't_ going to grow horns and a tail before ripping his intestines out. "Luffy, I'm not a demon. I'm just in a little pain and it makes me grumpy. It's not your fault so you don't have to _hide_ from me."

Luffy's attention caught on the word 'pain' and everything after that went right over his head. "You're in _pain?!_" he exclaimed in shock.

Nami nodded and rolled her eyes, "Yes, but nothing too bad. Every woman gets it and it isn't something that you can fix, so don't try."

He seemed to deflate and instead pouted, "If you say so."

She smiled at how utterly adorable he looked when pouting like that and walked across the room to kneel in front of him. "I'm fine, alright?"

A cloud-splitting smile spread across his face, "Right!"

With a mischievous grin, she slunk over and slid into his lap, gripping his shoulders and watching his eyes widen ever so slightly. A smirk to match her own and they were making out with such heat that it would have made Sanji spurt a nosebleed (while trying to kill Luffy). This lasted at least five minutes until both of them needed to get their heart-rates in check.

"You know," Nami started, resting her head in the crook of his neck, "once the bleeding stops, I'll make it up to you."

"_Your bleeding?!_"


End file.
